I do not know much in the world. I’ll admit it first hand. I’m young and have had very few ‘real’ experiences, aside from moving to another country at the age of 18. Everyone always says, write what you know. But what do I know? Not much.I know what it feels like to feel like you don’t belong somewhere, and to feel like an outsider. I know what it feels like to pick up my entire life and give everything up on the unknown. I know what it feels like to be scared to death in a ‘I’m going to vomit if I let myself think’ kind of way and keep moving anyway because there’s nothing else you can do.
Other than that I’ve got nothing. Except one thing: I know about love. I know what it feels like to love a friend so much that you would do anything, give anything to protect them. I know what it feels like to love your partner so much you feel like your heart swells a little bit to think of it. Love that makes you know that no matter what happens, you’re always going to be there for that person. No matter how bad things get.
And I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Bryn, the main character in my attempt at a novel, and thinking about how she represents that in me. Without meaning to, I’ve written these characteristics into her. The feeling of being an outsider, and the feeling of loving another person so much that you would literally risk death to be there with them, even if it gets you nowhere.
Then I started thinking about the way I have to listen to music to write, and how it has to, has to, has to represent the emotions in the scene for it to be effective for me. And I find myself coming back, over and over, to Florence and the Machine. Particularly, Cosmic Love. Now, I know this was written about a standard boy and girl sort of affair, but I find it particularly fitting for Bryn and her best friend, Nadi, and the difficulties they find themselves facing.
Strange? Yes. Interesting to think about? For me, yes.
And goodness knows, I do love thinking! 😉
Anyway, it is a lovely song. Click below to listen!