Okay, let’s be honest here. Rejection is quite possibly the worst part of wanting to be a writer. Living in our heads, living in our hearts and souls, our stories seem so wonderful. Our characters lively and honest. They are a small piece of our souls living in the written word. Hours and hours of blood, sweat and tears go into this. To write is to make the choice to give up the chance to live for the hours it takes to write. To choose to imagine rather than experience.

That’s all fine. Until all the rejections build up and slam you in the head. Thus, my often sullen, sudden disappearance from the blogosphere (feeling sorry for myself is something I cannot seem to escape after 12 rejections in a row…)

But, once in a while, a rejection confirms something for you, almost by accident.

I had been thinking: maybe the issue with Bryn’s story is the way it starts, completely unrelated to the real meat of the book. Maybe, just maybe, its still good but needs that first chapter removed from existence. Maybe this is the answer to my problem. I don’t care about being published. I just want someone to read it and say, that’s good. I like that.

Well, the point it, today I received yet another rejection. In this one it was mentioned that the agent loved the idea of the book, but found the first few pages less interesting. And that has given me hope. Bryn is special to me. I think her story is as honest as any urban fantasy book can be. It is about love and friendship and sisterhood, and goodness. Bryn is special. To me. And here someone else at least said, the idea is good.

So let’s get scissoring away. That first chapter goes, and the submissions package will go out again, and we’ll see what happens.

If we’re lucky, maybe just once it won’t end in rejection.

If not, expect sullenness again. Unfortunately.